choochoomotherslagger:

paaaaaaaaaants yes

pants are good

protect the business

…. dress probably protects the business too? whichever business you have.. weird organics

…

mmmmmmmmm you work on figuring out how to GO there while sounders does a thing for me .. shredded knees are catching up to me n though ive got self-repair systems like a proper robot now i think i do need a medic

shouldnt take too long, s’just replacing motion cables

… and blood

I’m not exactly keen on finding out what kind of business humans have today. I wouldn’t be surprised if it changes daily. Humans don’t make sense a lot of the time.

Hm… Maybe we can bridge there? That way, we just have to pay for it-

With money.

How do we get money?

And really? That sounds pretty good. You’ll be back up in no time, and it’ll be perfect!

(Source: ask-smokescreen)

choochoomotherslagger:

Okay. Astro. We’re going to Disney Land once you get pants on! Sound good to you?

…

Do I need pants, too? Or does this dress thing work alright?

(Source: ask-smokescreen)

I guess this also stacks up with the femme thing?

…

So I’m a Disney princess? Do I get to choose? Can I be Belle? Belle’s cool and-

…

Huh.

Rapunzel’s cool, too. And now I can show Astro the world Disney Land!

master-megatron:

ask-smokescreen replied to your post: Megs! Hey, Megs! Weird Ratchet taught me how to twerk. Do you actually know how to or do I get to brag now? /Sends a five minute long video of himself twerking/

Tweark? I can’t say I’ve tried that. How do you do that?

Fallen invented it.  It’s for your audios.  According to him:  ”you put your left tweark in, your left tweark out, your left tweark in and you shake it all about.  You do the twearking seagull until you chase your grandma out.”

What?

What?

Was ‘Tronus on circuit speeders or something?

I’ll try it, sure, but I don’t think I’ve got a grandma to chase out.

choochoomotherslagger:

well, go easy on me.. this is what, the second time? ever?

and i still dont like it

… i wouldnt mind going back there, actually

preferably without the female humans squawking about indecent exposure or whatever

Hey, I could teach you a thing or two about being human! Like, I know some really good foods and other stuff that humans get. Have you ever had pizza before?

…

Though I kind of need to be turned into a human first. But we should! And if we have clothes on this time, it should be fine.

“Yes, It still has credits.. Where Stealth is from, Cybertron still exists, and has a rather healthy economy and trade with many other worlds. And its like sticking a 20 in a stripper’s thong” chuckles monotonically.

Really? I’d like to see your Cybertron at some point. Sounds nice!

…

Why would you put money in a stripper’s thong? Couldn’t you just hand it to them?

Checkup

brokenneedlesandsadism:

“Don’t you give up on me, Smokescreen. Hold your form. HOLD it!” 

“Pop your aft like your life depends on it. Shake it til you break it, rookie!”

Believe me, I’m not. I’m going to get this right one of these days!

/After a moment, gets back into position, and tries twerking on the wall again, at a much faster pace than before. Amazingly enough, he’s starting to manage the skill of twerking./

Like this?

choochoomotherslagger:

ask-smokescreen replied to your post: 

Yeah, they did, but maybe they forgot! Now all I’ve got to do is become a human, and we’ll be on our way there. I wish I could help out with your knees, though.

well, at least ive got some passable clothes, now.. though i’m not sure how well this shirt thing is working out as bandages..

you dont want to be a human again, though, kid

i dont know how you can stand it

i mean.. i dont even have WINGS anymore..

I’ve been human so many times, I can adapt pretty quickly. Besides, it’d be cool to go to Disney Land again! There’s a ton of places I want to show you and see for myself!

Checkup

brokenneedlesandsadism:

“You got it, you got it— you don’t got it.” He rolls his optics and places his servos upon his hips. “Maybe it’s because your hips aren’t as wide as mine? Hm… Do a hand stand and try twerking on the wall.”

I had it for a while! I’m getting better.

A handstand? Will doing it that way be easier?

/Tries it anyhow, though much more slowly. Still, he’s able to keep it up for a while until his arms get tired./

*Smirks and tosses a few credits your way*

Huh? You still have credits? Why did you just give these to me?

Wait, is this like that one human tradition where they throw food at bad actors? Because I think I did a pretty good job that time! I didn’t even fall for a good minute or two.

Madness. complete madness. But you’ve a nice aft, so continue, please. *grins viciously*

I’m telling you, I’m not mad! And- what? You know, maybe I will!

/Tries to twerk again, making a point of twerking away from Stealth./

So emulating thrusting one’s hips like a breeding rabbit is what humans call twerking. Autobots…are so strange…*stares* You are completely mad.

It doesn’t make much sense, but it’s a human thing. I’ll figure it out so I can figure out humans more.

I’m not mad at all! I’m just learning about other kinds of dancing here.

Checkup

brokenneedlesandsadism:

“Idiot…” He reaches over and thumps Smokescreen right in the helm before letting him get up. “It’s all in your hip joints. Spread your legs evenly apart and pop. Here, watch me.”

I’m not an idiot! I just need to learn.

/Stares for a moment, really weirded out./

…

Okay. I’m going to see that in my really weird dreams. Uh. Like this?

/Gets up, and attempts to twerk. He manages it for a few second, before going at it too hard and falling./